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A Message from Andrea Thompson
 Everyone thinks that stalking is something that only happens to celebrities. Nothing could be further from the truth. The vast majority of stalking victims are average women -- students, housewives, women in the workplace. Your stalker could be a stranger, an ex-boyfriend, estranged husband, even someone from your church or school.
Although I am an actress on a television show, my stalking problem had nothing to do with celebrity. My stalker was someone I had worked with and later dated. Within a short period of time, only three weeks, I realized that I had made a mistake. He scared me. He wanted our relationship to progress at a much faster pace than I was comfortable with. His temper was explosive. He was extremely jealous and overprotective. He insisted on knowing where I was at all times and would call to check up on me. If I didn't answer his calls, he would drop by unannounced and in a rage. Then he started threatening me.
I broke off the relationship. Things quickly escalated. He continued to threaten me and began to threaten to hurt or take my child. My car and home were vandalized. He would call my home obsessively 50, 60, 70 times a day. Every time the phone rang, it was him. I turned the ringers off because the sound of the phone made me want to jump out of my skin. Every time I wanted to make a call out, he would be there on the other end of the line, waiting. Then he attacked me, in front of my young child.
After the attack, he continued to follow me, hide in my neighbors' bushes and watch me. Later, I found out that he had slept underneath my bedroom window at night. The biggest mistake I made was not calling the police. I felt ashamed, embarrassed. I thought it was my fault. When he followed my child to school one day and called to taunt me, I finally called the police. I wish I had called them sooner.
I was able to work with the police and the district attorney and my stalker was convicted. But the most important thing I got was a sympathetic ear. They listened to me. They helped me. They didn't laugh at me, doubt me or tell me I was over-reacting. Gone are the days when stalking and threat complaints are ignored. The laws now support the victim and allow the police and prosecutors to help you.
If any one of my experiences -- the calling, following, threats or vandalism sound familiar to you -- GET HELP NOW. Your life may be in danger. We now know that stalking behaviors are a strong indicator of future violence.
I made two mistakes, I ignored my instincts about this man and I didn't call the police soon enough. My mistakes could have cost me my life and worse, the life of my child.
If you are scared, get help. The police will listen to you, help keep you safe, and most important, help you get your life back.
Writing about this still makes me feel a little sick and scared. But if I can help one woman, one person, it will be worthwhile. Remember, you are not alone.
Please join us. Help stop the violence.
Remember it is your life. You have a right to live it.
ANDREA THOMPSON
Andrea Thompson |
Peace Over Violence | S.T.A.T

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love me not is the Los Angeles County District Attorney's proactive,

informative anti-stalking program in partnership with
Peace Over Violence.
Comments or suggestions about the lovemenot website?
Contact the lovemenot team at webmail@lacountyda.org |
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Disclaimer: this project is supported by Grant 98WFVX0008 awarded by the Violence Against Women Office, Office of Justice Program, United States Department of Justice (USDJ), through the Governor's Office of Criminal Justice Planning. Points of view in this document are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the official position or policies of the USDJ.
© 2008, Los Angeles County
District Attorney's Office |
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